He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So much rum. So many feels.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
