the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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