We named our party play list daddy issues
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize