Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
