is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
