You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
