dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
