omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
