omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
