How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
