just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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