Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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