This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
