PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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