Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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