You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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