It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
