if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
