I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
