butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
