So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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