Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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