What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
