singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
