so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
