so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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