question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
