Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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