Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
