Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
