so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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