The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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