WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
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I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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