dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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