Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
