I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize