Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
