She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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