well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
