Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We have started to decorate penises.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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