Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
