feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
