i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
