so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
