Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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