K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
