3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My room smells like vodka and shame
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
