he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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