If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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