Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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