i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
