Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Just puked most of my soul out..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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