I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
