Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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