census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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