It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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