____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
