We named our party play list daddy issues
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
