Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
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You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
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i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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