Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize