I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
