do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
