But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
