It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
too bad you live with your parents still
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
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When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
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Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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