Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just found puke in my bra..
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
