butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
