why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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